Dishonesty is the only real policy

It was a classic Newsnicht line-up last night, what with anchorman Gordon Brewer and the stellar cast of the Scotsman's Bill Jamieson, the Herald's Alf Young and Gerry Hassan - always inexplicably described on the programme these days as a mere 'blogger' - with the irony of the latter's critical point about the "small world" of Scottish politics perhaps slightly lost on them.

But the discussion was about the otherworldliness of the 'commitments' being made by the parties in the current election campaign, with the consensus of opinion seemingly regarding the manifestos and promises largely as unaffordable, unrealistic and ultimately undeliverable 'wishlists'. Clearly nothing gets past these erudite fellows.

Of course, the likes of these chaps and journalism more generally does us amateur commentators a great service in that they do actually pay a bit of attention to the minutiae of what the politicians are saying and, shock horror, may even go to the trouble of reading the manifestos and press releases that the parties churn out.

Which means that sceptical members of the public like myself don't actually have to endure the purgatory of reading the damn things (I wonder how many do, apart from people with some sort of professional interest - in other words, they're paid to read them) to gain a reasonable impression of what's on offer.

Thus with the two main protagonists allegedly stealing each other's ideas and in general terms something of a policy convergence becoming evident as they promote their wares and compete for the affections of 'middle Scotland' (which of course is more progressive and public sector-oriented than 'middle England'), it looks like we're being offered something along the lines of:

A guaranteed apprenticeship or free education until the age of 70. Or if you're lucky and manage to wangle a job in the public sector then there's a 'living wage', no compulsory redundancies and a public holiday on Dennis Canavan's birthday. And oodles of jobs will be created in the private sector, but we don't really know how, because it's the private sector, see? And if you're over 70 then, er, everything is free.

Then there's the free bus travel to anywhere in Europe for the over-12s, all of course in a shiny new fleet of low-emissions, ultra-sustainable buses. And the kids go free.

Oh aye, there's also 1,000 new community police officers on every street corner and an A&E department nearby which will never be closed, even if everyone's dead. Which, of course just won't happen, because prescriptions are free and you'll be able to see a cancer specialist within five minutes, who will dutifully arrange a home visit if required.

Of course, this will all come from efficiency savings, 'cos council tax will be frozen until 2112*, while if Scotland ever gains a bit more fiscal autonomy corporation tax will be set at zero to attract all those private sector jobs. And fuel duty could sustainably be abolished completely.

And please don't mention the cuts in the meantime.

As regards the competence and leadership required to deliver all this, the SNP are more than content to fight the election along the lines of 'Alex Salmond for President', while for obvious reasons Labour are equally content to ignore this and to portray the contest as one of Iain Gray v Margaret Thatcher.

Thus rather than honesty being the best policy, dishonesty is perhaps the only real policy on offer, but as usual it's maybe better to be charitable and put it all down to the other d-word - delusion.

On the other hand, the Tories are perhaps being a bit more candid and realistic about their promises - despite Annabel Goldie's exaggerated attempts to take the credit for the SNP's 'middle Scotland' successes - while the Greens are arguably being similarly frank.

Of course, these more open approaches are coming from opposite ends of the political spectrum - the former attempting to rein in spending, with the latter promising to raise taxes to maintain it - but the common thread is electability, or lack thereof. Neither the Greens nor the Tories will be forming the next Holyrood administration, thus they can afford to be frank and distinctive, presumably in the hope that they can maximise the appeal to their own limited pool of potential voters.

Meanwhile, the big beasts in the centre ground conform to the usual smoke and mirrors/snake oil salesmen clichés in their attempts to appeal to floating voters and those waverers amenable to change.

Thus all ultimately helping perpetuate public disillusionment with politics, in particular as regards another two well worn clichés: 'politicians, they're all the same, and you just can't trust them'.

*We've taken care of everything
The words you hear the songs you sing
The pictures that give pleasure to your eyes.

It's one for all and all for one
We work together common sons
Never need to wonder how or why.